The birth story

Read my [pre] birth story here

We got home from the hospital on Tuesday night around 9pm. We were relieved to know that everything was still okay with the baby, but really discouraged about the prospects of ever going into labor naturally. We went to bed with blank, smile-less faces, finally beginning to accept that I would probably have to be induced.

Wednesday, June 22nd

Around 2:15am I woke up with a contraction. This had happened to be a few nights before though, so I wasn't going to let myself get excited about it. I went to the bathroom and laid back down, trying not to think about it. I woke up again with another contraction at 2:25am... this time feeling kind of flushed and sweaty... it seemed stronger than any I'd had before. I tried not to get excited, but laid in bed awake hoping to feel my uterus clamp down again soon.

I felt another contraction about 10 minutes later. These contractions were somehow different than all of my Braxton-Hicks. I knew in some deep part of me that my body was finally ready for this, and that my baby was going to be born, but on the surface I was still in denial. I woke Joe up and we trudged out to the living room and sat down on the couch. We had gotten up other nights when I had contractions, and weren't really expecting anything too intense for quite some time, even if this was "the real thing." Everything we read about early labor said that I would be easily distracted from labor and able to continue functioning at a fairly normal level. 

That did not happen for me.

From then until we got to the hospital, everything blurs together. I breathed through many of my contractions laying on my side on the floor with my head on a pillow. We kept the lights off, and for the first hour or so I was able to doze in between my contractions. They were coming every 8-10 minutes. Every half-hour or so I stood in the shower and let the hot water relax me. The first few times it was almost numbing. When I first got up I was hungry, so I had eaten a bowl of cereal. It didn't stay down for long. I threw up pretty early on, and was unable to keep down even sierra mist and water.

I know Joe was there to get me whatever I asked for, whether it was help getting to the shower or a straw for my water... but I honestly have no recollection of how he passed the time otherwise. I vaguely recall the TV being on, but with the sound turned all the way down because I couldn't stand noise. I remember asking Joe every once and a while how frequently the contractions were coming... it seemed like they were 6 minutes apart the majority of the time.

My birth instructor told me when you feel like you can't do it anymore you're almost there. I was feeling that way by 7:30am. I was shaky, nauseous, and the shower wasn't helping anymore. Every contraction made me just want to thrash around violently to try to escape the pain, but the pain was almost paralyzing. Moving seemed to accentuate everything that already hurt. I worked through a few contractions on my hands and knees, and finally when I sat back as one was finishing, I felt a little gush of fluid. I told Joe my water broke, and we got ready to leave for the hospital.

I threw up as we were getting in the car, and had a contraction before we left the driveway. The 15 minute car ride was awful.  I had two contractions on the way... during both of which I screamed at Joe. I wasn't trying to scream, but when you're in such intense pain it's hard to get any words out without raising your voice.    During a contraction, both accelerating and braking were like torture, so Joe did the best he could to let the car coast. I was so thankful when we pulled in to the hospital parking lot.

We went in through the ER, as instructed. I sent Joe a few steps ahead of me through the doors to get a wheelchair, because I knew I was about to have a contraction. I wasn't particularly keen on the idea of being on my hands and knees having a contraction in front of everyone else in the waiting room. The hospital volunteer who brought the wheelchair looked a little flustered, but I tried to shut her and all the other patients out as I tried to breathe though the contraction that came as soon as I sat down. 

I was wheeled up to a room in the OB unit, and admitted immediately. I answered the nurse's questions during the breaks in between my contractions, which were still 3-5 minutes apart. There were two nurses in the room when they checked my cervix. The one who did the exam looked at the other one and said, "I feel... nothing. I can't feel any cervix at all." She also said that she could still feel the bag of waters. This was around 8:30am, I think.

The doctor came in some time shortly thereafter, and confirmed that I was fully dilated. Soon-to-be-Brenan's heart rate was beating steady with a lovely baseline around 140, and accelerations during contractions. His head wasn't quite as flexed as the doctor wanted it to be, so she put a rolled up towel just below my butt and lowered the leg portion of the bed so that my legs were hanging. I had to lay on my back and labor through 3 contractions like that (horribly uncomfortable), but her little trick worked and the baby flexed his head so that the crown of his head would present first. After that she told me I could start pushing as soon as I felt the urge.

I pushed laying on my left side for a while, then the doctor had me turn to my right side. My pushes still weren't as productive as they could have been, so she had me lay on my back (not flat though, the head of the bed was slightly elevated) and hold my legs myself. Joe and the nurse and been helping before. Pulling on my legs during the contractions helped give me more pushing power, and it ended up working the best for me. I was far too exhausted and shaky during contractions to try squatting. 

With each push I could feel the baby's head moving farther down. I could visualize where he was in my pelvis and the progress I made with each push. My contractions had been pain with no relief, but when I began pushing the pain felt productive and almost helpful. And then I felt the "ring of fire." I thought I felt like I was stretching, but then his head got to the widest point on it's way out, and... whoa. Now I know EXACTLY what women mean when they say that. It burns!

Thankfully that only lasted for two or three contractions. I could feel how close he was to having his head out, and the pain was bad enough that I got some sort of superwoman adrenaline rush and decided he was coming out RIGHT THEN. I'm not sure I've ever been quite so determined. That's the way it's supposed to be though - my body was made with Brenan's birth in mind.

When his head came out most of the burning feeling went away. I could tell that he wasn't all the way out though because I could still feel a lot of pressure from his shoulders. The doctor was concerned that his shoulders might get stuck because of his size and had warned me prior to when I started pushing that I should listen closely to her instructions after his head came out. Thankfully, she was pleased with the way his shoulders were presenting and told me to continue pushing. His shoulders (and the rest of his body) came out with the next contraction, after only two or three more pushes. At 11:19am, Brenan Matthew was born.

Keep posted for the final chapter of my birth story!